My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize