I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
