I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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