She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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