It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
