Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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