So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
