Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
