so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
