did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Randomize
