Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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