thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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