I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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