I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
