Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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