yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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