at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
