Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
