I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
try to milk me bitch
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
