I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
