i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize