i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
