I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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