I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
