They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
