Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is my gift to your gina
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
