Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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