I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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