Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
love makes seman taste better
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
