At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
