yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
