she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
