Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize