You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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