dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
