never play flip cup with pint glasses
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Oh god it's open bar.
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