i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
