physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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