She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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