Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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