Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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