i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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