You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize