apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
