ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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