I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
