? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize