don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
