just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
