what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
