so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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