Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
