it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
