Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
