So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
