I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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