how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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