Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
