you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
