the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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