On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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