Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
