Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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