So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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