i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize