It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize