i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
